Hydration is the cornerstone of any good recovery plan. At Hairball Haven, we treat it with great seriousness, and we have prepared eight techniques. These are for entertainment only and do not replace sensible advice from a real vet.
One: the standard bowl
Approach the bowl with confidence. Look at the water. Look at it again. Take a very small lap, and then walk away as though you have achieved something. Repeat in forty minutes.
Two: the tap
Position yourself near the tap and wait. When a human passes, make a pitiful sound. The tap will be turned on, and you may drink from the thin stream. This is, in our experience, the most refined way to receive water.
Three: the glass
Find a glass on a table. Place a paw on its rim. Look at the human. Push. This activity is often called “the experiment”, and while we do not endorse the mess, we respect the curiosity.
Four: the fountain
Our fountain is a high quality device that makes a soft trickling noise. You should sit in front of it for long periods, listening. Occasionally you may dip a paw in it. The fountain does not mind, and the paw becomes cleaner.
Five: the puddle
Seek a puddle in the garden. Drink from it as though nobody has ever warned you about it. We do not recommend this, but we recognise its appeal.
Six: the bath
If the human is taking a bath, sit on the edge and stare at the water. Do not enter. Eventually a drop will land on your nose, and you will receive a mild but valuable jolt.
Seven: the shared cup
Wait until the human leaves their drink unattended, and then take a sip from the edge. This is considered rude, but it is also considered effective.
Eight: the refusal
On some days, you may choose to refuse water altogether. This is part of the cycle, and we do not judge. Simply place the bowl at a polite distance and wait for the mood to change.
A word from Pounce
“Water is life,” says Pounce Delacroix, tail swishing. “It is also very boring. That is why we put it in a bowl shaped like a fish.”
